Sunday, July 14, 2024

DEAR ABBY: Girl’s male associates thumb their noses at fiance

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DEAR ABBY: My fiancee has numerous male associates she has recognized for years. Considered one of them stops off at her work, brings meals and items, and should exit along with her after hours. One other known as her one night and invited her out for drinks to have fun his promotion.

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At a current get together, one other one had his fingers on her again or shoulders at any time when he spoke to her (she was sporting a silk shirt). Previous to that, she had left with him to go to the ATM holding his hand. At one other get together, I virtually needed to wrestle one other “pal” away from her so I may sit subsequent to her at dinner and later stand subsequent to her for the group image.

After I inform her I’m upset about this, particularly that she is permitting it to go on, she tells me they’ve been associates for years and there’s nothing sexual happening. (The truth is, she says I’m the ONLY man she is aware of who thinks that manner.) She says, “We’re all simply touchy-feely.” Observing these goings-on, I don’t see any of her different male or feminine associates touching anybody else like this.

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I might by no means contact one other girl who was in a dedicated relationship. She insists it’s simply me, and that if I say something, she can be upset. So, right here I sit, stewing, whereas her supposedly non-sexual associates paw at her and vie for her consideration. Recommendation? — SEETHING IN NEW YORK

DEAR SEETHING: Sure. Your fiancee has made it plain that she doesn’t plan to alter. This is the reason you must cease seething and finish the engagement. Until you get pleasure from ache and anxiousness, this isn’t the lady for you.

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DEAR ABBY: I’ve one grandchild and one other on the best way. I’ve been struggling these days with all the foundations and limits my kids are inserting on me. I notice that with the web and the brand new father or mother programs, they’re receiving extra info than I ever did.

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The most recent subject is with my daughter who’s due in a number of months. We’re very shut, however abruptly she says I might want to bathe and put on clear clothes earlier than seeing her baby. She’s afraid of third-hand smoke. I’m, sadly, a smoker.

I might by no means smoke round her child. I don’t even smoke in the home, however she has advised me it’s her rule. I’ve learn every little thing about third-hand smoke and haven’t discovered any statistics in regards to the quantity of publicity it could take to hurt a child.

I’m going to attempt to stop, however I believe that is loopy. She hasn’t stated something about cleansing merchandise, meals or the rest. Am I incorrect in pondering that is excessive? — SAD SMOKER IN MASSACHUSETTS

DEAR SMOKER: As a longtime smoker, you might be most likely not conscious of how disagreeable the odor of tobacco will be for nonsmokers. It clings to the smoker’s hair, pores and skin, clothes and environment. You’re entitled to assume no matter you would like, however as you said, that is your daughter’s rule, and if you will work together with that grandchild, you’ll have to respect it.

I actually hope it is possible for you to to beat your tobacco dependancy and cuddle the newborn. Should you do, you’ll be doing all of you (together with your self) a favour.

— Pricey Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also called Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Pricey Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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