Saturday, February 24, 2024

DEAR ABBY: Husband views spouse’s texts with co-worker as a risk

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DEAR ABBY: I’m a 42-year-old male, married for 19 years with three teenage kids. My spouse just lately determined to return to work after staying house with the youngsters as a full-time mother. She’s an elementary faculty instructor and has a male co-worker.

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For six months, this co-worker has been texting her continuously, generally each day for a number of weeks at a time. Together with work-related texts, he asks for recommendation concerning his current breakup with a longtime girlfriend. He has additionally been sending random texts late at night time asking how she’s doing, and “checking in” messages.

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Two weeks into summer time break, he messaged her asking her how her summer time was and telling her what’s occurring in his life. I’ve confronted her in regards to the borderline inappropriate texts he sends, and he or she assures me nothing is happening between them. She says she’s “dealing with” it by not responding to his texts however won’t inform him to stop texting her.

I’ve by no means met this man, however really feel I must have a dialog with him explaining my considerations. Emotional affairs are actual, particularly in a office. Though I belief her, I don’t belief him, and I really feel disrespected. I perceive they work collectively and want to speak, however this feels flawed. Any recommendation could be appreciated. — EXCESSIVE IN MICHIGAN

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DEAR EXCESSIVE: I urge you to neglect about confronting your spouse’s co-worker. Do that as a substitute: Inform your spouse you wish to meet and get to know this co-worker and recommend the three of you (or 4, if he wish to convey a date) meet for an informal lunch or dinner. When you do, it provides you with perception into what’s going on. He could also be fairly a bit youthful, making an attempt to be pleasant and asking for courting recommendation as a result of he thinks of her as a mentor. I do NOT suppose this has something to do with respect or lack of respect for you.

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DEAR ABBY: The few occasions I’ve been in a position to go to some pricey prolonged household, the hosts have left me elsewhere for a lot of the day. Throughout my final go to, the husband and spouse left me with in-laws, nieces and nephews for 12 hours at a time whereas they labored. They didn’t point out this as we organized the go to.
I wouldn’t have visited if I had identified they would go away me to go do one thing extra vital. Whereas I like my younger nephews and nieces, I desire to go to the parents who truly invited me. What can I do? — LEFT IN LOUISIANA

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DEAR LEFT: I’m questioning whether or not these family members invited you to go to, or in the event you invited your self. If it’s the previous, inform them that in the event you had realized they’d be so scarce, you wouldn’t have come. In case your family members’ schedules are so full that they will’t reserve time to be with you, think about renting a automotive so that you received’t be so depending on them for transportation. Both that, or reduce your go to quick since you aren’t having fun with it.

— Expensive Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also referred to as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Expensive Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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