Wednesday, July 17, 2024

Want a late Christmas current? Attempt Westminster’s worst political merch – POLITICO

Press play to take heed to this text

Voiced by synthetic intelligence.

LONDON – Christmas! A time for giving.

However what do you get the political nerd who has all the things?

Take POLITICO by the hand and see what delights you too might be scrabbling round for days after the primary occasion in a bid to show you positively, one hundred pc care about and perceive that whole dweeb who retains banging on about one thing known as “Playbook.”

In Liz We Truss shirt

“In Liz We Truss,” says this fetching T-shirt, which presumably will final you a bit longer than the 49 days Britain’s disaster-prone Conservative former prime minister managed.

Far be it from us to counsel Tory HQ are offloading these on eBay en masse.

“In Liz We Truss” T-shirt |

Sparkle with Starmer shirt

Hey guys, we’re not a humorless, technocratic political occasion led by a person Boris Johnson as soon as described as a “human bollard.”

You see, we took an embarrassing occasion convention protest and turned it right into a T-shirt, thereby proudly owning the joke! It’s humorous! We did a humorous! VOTE FOR US.

“Sparkle with Starmer” T-shirt |

Christine Jardine fridge magnet

Say it in type with a lo-resolution JPEG of the equalities spokesperson for Britain’s fourth-ranking political occasion — on a fridge magnet! “Appropriate for each fridges AND freezers,” says the Lib Dem web site hopefully. Yours for a cut price £1.50.

Plastic fridge magnet that includes a photograph of the Lib Dem MP for Edinburgh West |

Margaret Thatcher bauble

Nothing says festive cheer like a £19 Christmas tree decoration mashing up an opinion on nearer European integration with a Santa quote. Has the saving grace of being fully smashable. Additionally accessible in knitted sweater type.

Thatcher Christmas baubles |

Labour bauble

Who stated Labour and the Tories are just about indistinguishable?

By no means eager to be outdone, Starmer and co. supply a extra worker-friendly £10 set of baubles adorned with the type of rousing political slogan iconic post-Struggle PM Clement Attlee might solely dream of: “Win ‘24.”

There’s a badge model too, in case you shun the respect of others.

Labour bauble |

Lib Dem Christmas ‘card’

“Seasons greetings,” reads a font straight from the sixteenth century on this too-good-to-buy Snowman Christmas Card from the Liberal Democrats.

Three equally-sized Lib Dem logos act as buttons, whereas all the important thing snowman colours — gray for snow and a yellow for a carrot — get a glance in. Microsoft Paintbrush circa 1994 known as: it needs its mad design skillz again.

Christmas playing cards |

SNP snow globe

Collect the household across the hearth and kick up an SNP snowstorm. Makes a change from this 12 months’s infinite SNP s**t-storm, we suppose.

SNP snow globe |

‘Future Labour PM’ babygro 

Effectively we got here to sneer at this, but it surely’s “out of inventory,” so someone is clearly shopping for “Future Labour PM” babygro.

Maybe it’s all the uber-loyalist toddlers being parachuted into protected seats.

“Future Labour PM” child high |

Lib Dem earrings

Babe what’s improper, you’ve barely touched your Lib Dem earrings? Nice for engineering a painful breakup.

Lib Dem earrings |

Keir Starmer flip-flops

It’s not simply Labour who could make ‘em giggle! These humorous bunnies in Tory central workplace additionally know find out how to do a “humor.” This set of Keir Starmer flip-flops doesn’t simply scream type — it’s really additionally very, very humorous.

You see, Starmer tends to — and simply stick with us right here, it’s a really sophisticated joke — flip, and, certainly, flop, on issues of coverage! So that you see the joke is, nicely, that Keir Starmer “flip flops.” And so that they put that on some flip-flops! What a riot! How can these guys be 20 factors behind within the polls?!

Keir Starmer flip-flops |

A Brexity Tory Christmas card

Image the scene: morning time. You hear the postman arrive. A card! Beautiful handwriting on the envelope. Just a little snowman sticker for a seal. How considerate! Somebody loves you. It’s auntie Julie’s writing. You haven’t heard from her in ages. You tear it open in delight. You see this.

You seal the postbox shut eternally. You begin searching for a brand new home. You weep.

Conservatives 2023 Christmas card |

Related Articles


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here

Latest Articles